• Respect, politeness and common sense are the name of the game when it comes to swimming together and interacting with coaches and clubmates. Bottom line: be considerate! 

• I come on time to practice out of respect for the coach and other swimmers. But I’m free to leave whenever, this isn’t Hotel California. 

• I choose a lane suited to my speed and current level of fitness, not the level I dream of reaching at the height of the season or the level I had in my 20s. 

• I share my lane with the other swimmers, avoid swimming in the wrong direction, and stick to the right – not the middle – of the lane. Even if I’m from a country where people drive on the left. When there are several swimmers, we swim in a loop counterclockwise; when there are only two, we can split the lane, each to a side. 

• When a train compartment is empty, that’s where I sit. Same goes for the pool. When I join a practice, I pick the lane with the least swimmers that is best suited to my level, even if that means changing lanes partway through practice. 

• On the exceedingly rare occasion where I’m late, I don’t start the workout from the beginning but from whatever set the other swimmers are on.

 • The fastest swimmers in the lane have right of way. This ensures everyone’s safety and ability to train properly. • I take the lead only if I’m the fastest at a particular exercise or stroke. 

• I leave 5 seconds between me and the preceding swimmer, more if necessary. The goal isn’t to catch up with him or her but to do the workout correctly. 

• Practice is not a competition. The point isn’t to get through the sets at Phelpsian speed. I follow the coach’s instructions, including rest times. If I want to do my own thing, there’s always the lake. Or else, I can get certified as a coach. 

• When the coach is giving the next set, I don’t prevent my swim mates from following the explanations by talking at the same time. If I simply must recount my latest adventures, I wait till coffee. 

• I don’t push away from the wall at the same time as another swimmer or at the same time as a swimmer about to do a flip turn. I let the swimmer pass and leave a 5-second gap. 

• If I need to rest at the end of a lap, I hang out on left or on the right but not in the middle. This way, other swimmers can do their flip turn safely and unimpeded. 

• If someone tickles my feet several times, this is (usually) not a sign that they’re flirting but that they want to overtake me. I let them pass at the end of the lane, I don’t stop in the middle of it. 

• If I’m swimming faster that the person ahead, I tap their feet a couple times (gently) and overtake them at the end of the lane. I overtake mid-lap only if I can do so without hindering the swimmer coming in the opposite direction. 

• In a group, we start and do exercises together, for our safety but also to avoid mixing strokes, overtaking and other nuisances. If I can’t do an exercise, I adjust to make sure I can keep up with the group. 

• Barring a cramp, I don’t stop in the middle of the pool; I swim to the end of the lane and get out of the water if necessary. Basically, I avoid stopping mid-lap unless there’s a problem preventing me from swimming and requiring the intervention of the lifeguards. 

• A lap finishes at the end of the lane, not 3m before. I swim to the wall so that those behind me can also complete their lap. • I bring my own water bottle and don’t drink from my swim mates’. Or else, I ask their permission first. 

• Unless life calls me elsewhere, I go to coffee after practice. It’s the sign of a job well done, even if I can’t lift my arms and have to drink from a straw.